Water Stain

If my eyes hurt you
And if my touch burns
There is much to be through
That’s how a man learns

‘Cause if my heart hurts
And if my love wears out
I have two hands to work
To wipe tears’ whereabouts

If the world seems sadder
On yesterday’s blunders
It all is but just a ladder
To the times you would do wonders

My love is a water stain
And your love a fine flower
Mine will get uglier in rain
Yours will thrive in its shower

So don’t leave your heart at my door
Sadness scavanges here at night
I’ve buried mine at the ocean shore
‘Cause I’m too weary to put up a fight

Go find yourself a fire to fuel
Bones that ignite your soul
Your kingdom on someone to rule
Without a hole in a heart or a heart in a hole

A Visceral Castration

Dear Hachi,
The last time I wrote you I told you how I was left feeling something visceral. No, it wasn’t love. It was just a feeling of being left alone by someone for no good reason. I told you how I wondered if anyone would ever love me like you did. And today once again I feel like crying because I feel everything in my heart except love. I feel compassion, I feel passion, I feel hate and anger all the same, I feel care and sadness, I feel happiness and joy. But it seems like my heart has forgotten how to feel all of them in one place.
I guess I have met two people who would do anything to make me fall in love, perhaps one more than the other. Last night I felt a fire, bright and fierce, that it has left me scared. I am afraid that fire is going to burn so much down or maybe turn something into pure gold but perhaps barren. That is the thing about fires, of the gut, of heart or of substance. If controlled, it becomes the most beneficial asset, and if not controlled, it burns its beholder to ashes and everything around. I am afraid I have set a fire at places, where I am the one who couldn’t be warmed up by it. Am I an arsonist Hachi? Am I born to leave a trail of broken hearts behind me, or everyone does the same and I am no different, quite opposite to what everyone says.
Will I ever fall in love again now that I have loved you with my soul? You know if you walk up to me once and tell me that I should let myself go and fall into this river flowing from the beautiful people, I will fall in love without thinking again. But the fact is that you are gone and I will never hear your voice again. Why has it become so hard after you? Why am I suffering even when I am liberated?
Why do people fall in love with me Hachi when I am the most incapable of loving? It makes me want to cry. I feel impotent in my heart. Yet no one seems to understand the suffering. Is it my fault?
Has the story reversed Hachi? Will I keep waiting for you all my life?

Loud the colours

Reverent the pace

Hoping in bubbles

Obtuse to race

Walking to meadows

Talking the grace

Louder the bellow’s

Thunder in lace

When they come marching

Flowers and love

Nimbus in arm-swing

Spring gale above

See a revolution of rainbow

To ignite world a-glow

Pain and Its Friends

The sky wore the blackening blue like a patch of hurt skin that shifts hues dolorously for the damage that has been so unkind, so unforgiving. The Vigour in the air that so far giggled with those snoozing little kids of hers was as silent and treacherous as the dying sun over some lone and sad desert existing in a forever ennui. The land beneath her paws that had been so appealing all this while had become appaling, for her offsprings were nowhere to be found.

She barely understood the meaning of death, she was not as sentinent as a human being. Her litter of pups that had not even opened their eyes yet had gone to silence just a week ago. Her breasts were bloated with milk, churning and aching to be sucked by those little mouths that were left open.

If only she understood how and why she had to find her little pups lying on the side of the road with that red flowing from their mutilated bodies, she could have felt bereaved at least but alas! All that she understood was that they would not move even after her many futile attempts.

Where had they gone to now? She had been crying on the streets, looking for them, but they were nowhere to be found. She had been feeling wrong all this time, how could it be? Wrong was the only thing she felt, without any definition, without any reference to it, it was just a feeling of ‘wrong’ that she always felt whenever she was wounded. Waiting by their unmoving bodies, waiting for them to wake up, she had fallen asleep by them, and oh! how wrong she was to. For when she opened her eyes they were gone, only the red was there; where had they gone to, abandoning her in that gruesome street? Why would they?

She could not understand what was happening, something so precious to her was vanished and she had no clue to where. Streets were gloomy, people looked at her with pity, she knew that look but she did not want bread from them, she wanted her pups.

Where possibly could they be gone? She had been bawling. Did she understand what sadness is? Did she understand what loss is? Was there any definition of the feelings in her world? All that she felt now was a longing, the ‘wrong’ had grown into ‘longing’ in no time, and it ate at her heart, much like one of those desperate times when she could not get food for days and it ate at her gut, perhaps worse than that.

People looked at her, yet again, she was digging another hole only to find handful of nothing. She had dug so many holes in that empty field, trying to find something desperately, crying loudly after each dig. There was a trail of dirt on the both sides of her face with a condemning desire in her black eyes and a pain in her body whenever she walked. She was unable to understand where she could find her pups again. She left the field once more, to look for them into another alley, milk was dripping from her breasts, she was bawling.

People that looked at her with pity till yet had started to feel irked. A dog crying in the neighborhood was a bad omen to them. It was time some of them aimed a piece of stone at her to hush her away.

​And when the soldiers got lost
She sent a raven to the east
May it find a trace of war
May it find a stranded peace

But rose the tides of silver land
Turning fate that sleigh of hand
The beast was down in dolour fire
Rave the raven for army’s ire

Beast was only pep of hope
Her rage was only for the pain
Army only fled for freedom
Peace was only blood in rain

So the end a fairy tale
Of clarus queen and monster pale

​गर तुम ये सोच रहे कि अभी जिंदगी खत्म है

तो तुमने जिद सीखी ही नहीं

पूछा था हमने पतवार से

जो ले चली थी नय्या मझधार में

हिलती-डुलती, थपेड़े खाती

लड़ती हुई, लड़खड़ाती हुई

कभी डूबती तो कभी उतरती

बोल उठी हँस के वो

क्यूँ सोचता है इतना

रुक जाते हैं तेरे कदम

कि कदमों की आवाज ही तो रास्ते का साज है

जिद कर, जिद से ही है तेरी जिंदगी

जिद से ही तेरी आवाज है।

I can’t sleep since I’ve heard her crying
Through my cheeks
Through my deception
I think she knows I am lying
She has been looking
For her heartling everywhere
She has been restless
She suffers like she’s dying
What have I done?
Where have I brought us to?
I did something I can’t change
Through my guilt she’s prying
Her eyes are stoned
Her heart is in disposition
She is frantic and wary
Seeing the truth I’ve been denying
Oh, my love is belying
It shatters right in front of me
Her heart and her hopes
Oh heaven, this pain is undying
I can’t look her in the eye
Questions through are eyeing
Save us someone from this
My world in front of me is dying.

Pink Winter

Golden wheat
Calling for that summer wind
And the spring
Is just around the corner
Misty mornings
Flowers colouring petals
And birds sing
For a sweet weather
Sweetest melodies
Are dancing on the paths
For Sun sings
And these trees laugh
And then night comes
Moon hangs out with stars
Warm and cold sky brews
Moonshine for all
Who wouldn’t love
And who won’t dare falling in
When world simply grows simple
And compassion gets all.

Hide

She said it’s a warfare
Said to pick up myself
She said it’s not fair
Said we need our help
I followed her through the gas
I followed her against Shields
She said there’s no pass
Said strentgh grows in the fields

I cried and I lied
I forgot who I was
I feared of being fied
I was smaller than a grass
She led me to light
Said put trust in your heart
I had never fought a fight
I had to have a man’s heart

Said why my right is less
I am as much as one is
She said hopes stress
I am of soil and its bliss
She said there are colours
I have yet to play
Said Beauty always differs
I need to see to stay

Why can’t you love and laugh
If it’s every bit of world
Why is a man to stop
When a beautiful weapon words
When the world is sure to change
Why grow barren inside
If the love is strange of strange
Why even then to hide

Journey

The roads are long
But the days are not
World is sleeping
But the night is not
Your hopes are lost
But you are not
Your thoughts are weary
But your heart is not

So walk up to sun
And raise your hands
Keep on going
For you still stand
And make the best
Through the gold coast strand
Be gentle as moon
For he’s your friend

You know tears vet
But wet may not
You seem to lose
You are lost yet not
Pick up your fight
Cause the world may not
For battles do cry
But the peace does not

So go to sleep
So that you wake up
Leave your worries
Let’s not light them up
And when you wake
Prepare to go straight up
Over the world
That tried to string you up

And when you make it
There’s a calm of wind
Of the mountains
All those you had to win
Still a journey to make
Still a life to spin
So keep on going
With a high held chin