I wonder when would I get to see you next,
It has been a week, more so, I guess,
Like flowers in the sun await the wind
And cold wind blows by the meadow
And in between all the stillness
The flower withers and wind becomes breeze

Would you become better if I waited on you?
Shall I perish for I am not eternal?
How long this week feels if you knew
Perhaps, you would come rushing back
There have passed a billion stars several times
And the seconds, oh forever frozen

There is a cuckoo on my foyer sitting
Always telling me you’re around the corner
And as I rush, the street thinks I’m a fool
The bicycles mock me, and dash by
And then there at the corner, my heart sinks
And I leave it there, in despair and wait

And then I look down from my window
Oh there go people, gaily back to the arms of their beloved
And I sit, I sit and I wait, in a frozen longing
Oh sweet embrace of your wanting eyes
Cars honk their horns, bees buzz and trees rustle
The only note missing is your sweet voice

The autumn, the spring, the winter and the summer
All feel the same, cheerless and silent
Though it has been just a week, perhaps, I guess
But I’ve lived seasons through it without you
And my work is not good, I have got a few proposals too
And you do not know, I’ve been having nightmares.

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Illusion

don’t let those chemicals work in your head
I swear they make my serotonin rush
you could give me obsessive compulsive disorder
i’m scared you might leave in gush

keep quite when I talk when I walk to you
you still don’t speak even when i’m hush
digging deeper in my heart to the core
oh when you stop you’d leave me in tush

now look back, look down here in my hands
oh my four chambered concrete strong scared
adrenaline you supply for free to me
even my head not for a chance you spared

hold back, don’t walk ahead, not a single step
you’re mighty, you can break me to never be repaired
oh you touch to make my every feather stand
magician you’re, sugar coated double layered

my chest misbehaves with the photons of your face
oh sweet love, you’re no good but you make my life race
in an infinite space
to end for the chase
following your trace
blinded of your grace
illusion, you’re my sweet illusion!

Who’d save me

where are you and where my sighs
ruined a lot, your truthful lies
what have I become, can’t trace anymore
can fix others, others for me out of score

my head’s still sweet but brain has sores
I open my love but others shut the door
kept me hallucinating blur of ours
heart still feels but it feels now sour

who could heal, probably not your fault
i’d not have let you in, you set my default
what have I become, death of my stars
I wonder if it’s you or countless scars

I hadn’t dreamt of it, lights run out
have lost more than I ever got
this soreness makes me shut shout
i’m messed in these tricky routes

not perfect but I try my best
but I slack at loving people
i’m often confused what to do, lest
you shouldn’t have gone deeper

now I misbehave, I am not at pattern
but if you come see, I still sometimes do best on my turn
sometimes i’m messed up, sometimes I’m mistake
how come i’ve come to this, how do I take?

i’m a kid inside, no, probably a monster
despaired so much, impaired lone-stern
who could fix when I don’t know where’s the wreck
i’m a jaunt for some, for some pleasure of neck

who’d save me from myself now?
i’m drowning in what i’d drawn
hands are there but can’t see help
where i’m, where i’m held?
who’s gonna save me from myself?

Family

Crashing, pulling, throwing,
Trying to electrify
Sprinkle a little gasoline
Hope that will justify
Batter, family shatters
Acceptance seems denied
Sprinkle a little water
Is it to be burned alive?

Happy seems too weary
Bloodholes run teary
Do we have to fight?
Mamma, we can make it out alive

Talking to his own hands
Best friends he ever knew
Helping him through smog
All thorns that they sew
Run behind your mother
She might not return
Another day crashes
The night may not return

Sorrow seems too fragile
Only ally in his castle
Of love that’s filled with hatred
Childhood too betrayed

Witnessing the violence of shelter
Slamming doors engulfed of screams
Genie or witch are needed helpers
They too won’t come it seems
Sleep as he makes a story
Stars again to stare
Prestige and damn religion
Trapped family in the glare

Are we a family?
Better we nothing be
Go back to the childhood
Turn ugly bad to good

Listen to all the voices
That keep cramming love
Poison in those noises
For a moment shut it up
Cringed in own fervour
Home is maybe sweet home
Innocence without armour
Terminated in alone

Things he saw were gloomy
Destroyed all the fun looming
Not like the other children
Perfect family barren

Shouts and screams to loving
Hurts another trapped
Who made whose heart sting?
Loathing in filthy wraps
Sisters brother playing
But what should he play?
Fear of dying someone’s
Ruins another day

Was that a family?
What else could it be?
Lost the childhood
With empty hands stood.

Thought in next life
There’ll be perfect home
But expectation drowned dry
Afterlife is truth no more
So he looks to the sky
Thinks to alter world
The love that seeped through fights
Make in someone’s world

Would there be a family?
A perfect home to be?
A home that’ll be his
Where finally love will breed.

Smile as you go

I was so grey and sky shone blue
You touched my skin to change my hue
Cheeks to red, eyes dark deep
Warm of yours dried my weep
Simple is the thing, sober is you

A little wine makes me muse
A little smile that you use
A little care that you show
To little me since you know
Under my pillow comfort refuges

Now that it’s you I know
I’ll smile even if you go
I won’t be sad anymore
A sense of realisation is you
Won’t let you know
No, i’ll smile and let you go

Now that things change places
Once again the colors will be known
Now the sky is grey and yes i’m a little blue
But I won’t lose your gift my hue
I’ll get it back, all because of you

Cheeks will be red, dark eyes be ocean
I’ll be calm or maybe silent watch the rain
I’ll never be the same after this touch
Will see you once or twice in a week or a month
Do you know you are a remedy for pain?

Now that maybe you don’t know
Just smile if you let me go
You can’t make anyone sad
A sense of happiness you glow
Who you’re if you know
I’ll smile and maybe it’ll show