What Are You?

I guess we both aren’t coming up

Everytime my fingers run over you

You sink deeper into my heart

I sink deeper into your skin

And that’s a comfort there

In the warm core of your youth

On subtle, soft flesh I run miles

The rhythm of your melodies

The charm of the words falling out of your mouth

The lips that curve perfectly

Like a goddess celebrating her body

Like a mighty lord channeling his power

Like a butterfly breaking through the cocoon

You make an intimidating appearance

You dawn upon me like desire to a devil

You make me wanna cry profusely

So perfect at symmetries, how could it be?

Those fingers, those legs, that sweet mouth I taste

Have I ever tasted anything sweeter than, before?

You’re a greed to my eyes

A power to my waist

A passion to my jittering brain

A dark desire to my losing heart

Everytime I lie with you

Every inch of your skin on my skin

Each moment of your mouth on my mouth

Liberation comes through bed

Liberation comes through this perilous lust

Liberation comes through holding you naked

And this wasted youth is wasted even more on you

And then you ask if I’m in it?

I was into you the very first time I saw you

Through the glass of now broken glasses

I guess I saw you and told myself that I wanted it

Every inch of your mighty thrust

Every bud of that moving tongue

Every strand of those dark brown hair in my fingers

Yes, I wanted it all the moment I saw you

I was conscious

I was wondering if I looked good enough

But then you made it feel like unnecessary

Bowled me over my senses

Belittled me with those bewitching glances

Sorcerer, I thought to myself

How could someone be so majestic?

That it makes me want to cry

Makes me want to worship

Take you in my mouth and blow your mind

Show you that you’re wanted

That you’re cared for

That you’re a dark desire to someone

That you make it hard to breathe at times

That you make me want to write poems

That you make me a little more like you

I expand, I swear I expand

And now it feels like I’m bigger than before

You’re an enchantress

You’re a magician and I’ve become a trick

Oh and when you lie on me

Can I describe that feeling?

The way you guide my limbs when we do it

The way you move my waist

Or work my body in a hundred ways

Can I express those moments?

Words will fall short

God, you make me imbecile

What are you?

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Flicker of smoke like a trampled will
Her face, her grace, all over the place
And the tears, the tears and the wears
Sinking like a bolt into the Earth
The wind, the wind up and glint of eyes
Flare like a comet through the chest
Did she know, no I guess no

The wait, the weight of ever late
Like a sailing cloud never coming down
Crosses her heart like a dagger of faith
How she felt her lips, wisps of lost chase
Going right, in the right of her wrong
Digging desperately into her face
Like pins, sow the heap, heap and sow

Mercy, the more she sees the moor of her dreams
Crippling like a broken branch against wind
She’d go down, drown and grow alone
In the blighted superstition of her hope
Striking like a tsunami against her life
She does know, I guess she’d always known
It is soon to be over, over her suffering

If love were the fire
Then his words were the gasoline
And his eyes two marbles ready to ignite everything they fell upon

If love were the ice
Then my body was the water
And his touch was more than enough to freeze me to absolute zero

If love were a flower
Then I was just another pollen
And his glance was the fresh air that took me in the arms and brought me to ovary

If love were the blue sky
Then I was just a light falling through
And he was the air that dispersed me

If love were the black sky
Then he was the stars and the moon
Giving it a definite face and a definite view

If love were the breeze
Then his glance was the gas
And his grace was the van der Waals holding it all together

If love were the sleep
Then his smile was the first dream
And his carelessness was the comfort that gives it the existence

If love were the trees
Then his limbs were the branches on which I swung
And his hair were the leaves I found comfort under

If love were the ground beneath
Then his chest was the mantle I lay my head upon
And his beautiful arms were the soil that covered me

If love were the home
Then his passion was the four walls
And my mesmerized heart was the roof resting upon it

If love were the consciousness
Then his wisdom was the feelings
And his laughter was the curiosity to understand them all

If love were the road
Then his burning penis was the gravel
And his lips were the destination I had to reach to

If love were the journey
Then his body was the time
And my madness was the steps taken through

If love were a fragrance
Then his musk was the source of all the perfume
And I was the sense to pick it

But love was the death
And he was a life lived and won
I was the after, the unknown…

A Failing System of Organs

As I sit today with a sense of void
It is easy to comprehend that I might crumble
With my thoughts shimmering low
And my body giving a way to cold
My palms sweat excessively, so do my feets
I feel this sadness crawl into my gut
The final place where it would rest
I feel as weak as a broken branch of a tree
My whole tree, my sense of self, seems to have abandoned me
I can feel my heart slowing down
Just enough to let me know that love is dead
But not low enough to die along with it
As I try to begin to understand
How some people never intended to let me down
It’s just that their best wasn’t as big as I expected
And soon as my hopes crumble right under my feet
As my aspirations abandon my eyes
I could see all of them crying for me there
And as I begin to wonder if I am sinking into my lost eyes
Mirror breaks just a little
My heart cannot sink in its own blood
So it starts to sink in my failures
Just enough to succumb and porpoise
But not enough to let go and find a release
Not that it has no strength
It could still go on and lift the world, take on it again
But what for? Where is the purpose?
What keeps you alive if spirit is.. just gone?
I can hear my heart screaming at times
Haunted by all the love it smothered itself
Why does it not want to hope again?
Perhaps, because hopes have abandoned it, to find a better place
After all, they were alive when they left
No one wants a grave for a home
But here I walk, a grave of a thousand dreams
An obituary of dismantled brain
Here where an unexplored world lives within a ravaged one.
A failing system of organs.

Heartbreak

The heartbreak won’t leave you
It will stare you right in the face
Lie on the bed next to you
Like a dead ghost, a dormant rock

It will weigh you down
Until you know you can go no further
Until you know you are helpless
And hit that dial on the phone

It will sit right across the hall
And make faces like an annoying child
Call you his or her name again and again
Drag behind you if you run away

It will hide in your clothes
And feed on your eyes every night
Ring in your eardrums in silence
Will dance on your skin like goosebumps

It will flow in your pen or in your brush
Or flow in your tears or in the blood
Perhaps flow through your windpipe and choke you
Maybe flow through your guts and to uretha

It will dance in your head every morning
And become a stump when others would dance
It will wrap around your fingers, like water
It will intensify with every laughter

It will be there, every before and after
And won’t stop until it becomes your master
It will become your monster and ruin your head
And then one morning you will find it is dead

And when it will leave you, it will keep you a gift
There will be strength blooming from the unforgiving rift
The rift that it left as it splat your heart
And then it will wait untill you once again start.

For a While

Like a hunger, love hits my guts
Warm hearth is where it stays
Like crimson aura of swaying palm tree
Sweet as fickle wind on my window

It becomes a hunger unaddressed
Doesn’t have a place to go
Before I swallow it or it swallows me
Thoughts devour my last premonition

Who knew I would miss my heart a day
When it was a kid, free and wild
Now it is tamed, it tames and troubles
Peace be upon it, piece bygone it

And shall I suffer at his tricky smile
I hope love will wait on me for a while

Borders

Just tell me this, ‘why do you have to go?’
All the blues in reds, do we know?
Is there an end to this madness?
Do flowers grow where we fall?

A little bit of reason might suffice,
Just tell me who we are saving from.
Are we really willing to win?
And if we do, isn’t it just a whim?

Why are we raging war for peace?
Why are we killing when we are made to love?
‘Where do you have to go?’
Will we meet again?

If it is love for your nation
Do we love our home enough?
For the motives of just a few
You fight when I know you don’t

Who wants to kill, I know you don’t
You wish the war doesn’t begin
But you still go when they call
Is that how women and men fall?

All the soil and the sky
They see everything passing them by
I don’t think they love us
That’s why they didn’t give us wings or roots.

Or maybe they loved us so much?
And they did not bind us to them thus
So that we could go and explore the universe
Why are we fighting yet?

‘Why do you have to go?’
Do they cry differently when you kill?
Or spill a different blood?
Do thorns grow where they die?

Oh Mother

Oh my eyes are open
And I see the colours passing by
Isn’t the world beautiful?
When rain flows in the air

Oh my heart is open
And I let pain turn into pleasure
Let my life dance to its beats
When I do not know where I am going

It is like a sweet cold wind
That makes me shiver and ecstatic
Makes me freefall as I start to hurt
When I fail and I fall down

Oh my love is open
For everyone who comes or goes
Nothing extraordinary or brilliant
It is as ordinary as billions of others’

Very common and very authentic
When I know I am beautiful
Like all the beautiful people
Trying to be more human

Oh my mind is open
For everything I see and feel
From swindle to a child’s smile
When I know the world is failing

But it will go on even if it fails
For as strong as the earth is
Human is its offspring and more
Oh I wish I had been here before

Two Months

Oh Delhi, you old yet raw abode
Your veins are flooded
Your bones are cluttered.
The way you boil is impatient,
And your slithering chill sedates
Yet culminates the hearts.
You rise and you run the miles.
You do not sleep or yawn.
The wind you harbour is not air
It is life playing and bruising
It is hopes assembled and raged.
How I hate your guts
The way you churn our souls
There is a dishonesty in your honesty
And dishonesty that reeks of honest pain.
You can turn a rock into gold
And make titanium crumble
That is your might, your force.
Love has a million meanings to you
And yet love for you is pure.
You can take more than you give
And what you give is forever more
Than what we take in believe
And you ever did the candid
Show that outdid forevermore.
Change of seasons and weather
That muses the muse and troubles the breath
They say you reek of inhumane shell
Yet I find a humanity lying in your fissures
Strange, frightening and intimidating humanity
In the furnace of your revolutions
So fierce that it tans the souls
Makes some wings rust and some soar.
You withdraw whatever, whenever you want
And you give like a humble old woman
Aren’t you fascinating?
Never growing old, never the same
Such cage of sad pleasure
Such land of rising dreams
For heartbreak enliven wants
Weaving their meanings in your lap.

To End

Oh dear life
Where are you?
Waiting in the shades
I have been
Weary, shaking
In the hands of cold
Over the night
Welp, you too?
Waiver and fade
In the unseen
Withering, slacking
In pains two fold
And meet me by my old
Home abandoned, broken
Humble abode
Crucify my memory
Mount on the front wall
Castrate my soul
And masterpiece me cold
Heart sullen, woken
Halted on nodes
Call me if you see
Mundane me like Fall
Crude Bones are old after all
Buried in my face
Looming in my skin
Lunging for riddance
From me, from us
Turning to ashes
For we are apart
Benign be on me, grace
Love, dear life to win
Let me sleep thence
Feel your healing gush
Tending in your eyelashes
Forever, to start
To end.