I hope you’re doing something amazing in the cosmos out there. I wonder if you could see me. And if you could, do you think that we’d ever meet again? This world is so so big, I can’t measure it with my eyes. And in this big world, I have a home that I could not measure with my heart. There are times when I see a panorama of dreams and they are always as vivid as your innocent eyes full of magnificence.
I was at my parent’s place in my dream today, there was a big green mountain just at the back of their home. I was standing on the roof and the end of the world seemed near. In all of this, I could find only one companion by my side- Simba. He too was there in my dream. And ever since I’ve woken up I cannot help but miss him. I wonder if he feels as miserable too. I can write to you whenever I wish, I can talk to Mayank or any of my friends, and let my feelings out. I wonder if that poor feline-lover of mine misses me too, I wonder if he could express it the way I do, freely, fiercely.
Do you know that he’s as precious as you’re to me? He brings the best out of me. I never knew I was capable of this much loving. Leaving him behind and moving to Delhi surely feels sad. I wish I could go back to him, hug him and show him that I didn’t want to, that he’s always on my mind, that I just wish I could hug him every night before I fall sleep. I understand now, maybe you too feel the same, maybe you too wish that we could be together again. But we can’t be. How miserable that sounds, full of a sad melancholy twisting and tiding at our hearts. I wish I could see you for once at least, that will be a soothing breeze to my sore eyes.
I miss my nights where you used to push your body against my skin and fall asleep, no matter how hot the may nights were. The very same way I miss my mornings where Simba would sleep in front of my face, just to wait for me to wake up. And soon as I’d wake up, he would come, start licking my face and make that sound of grave hunger. My mornings just felt right, right by his side. The common thing you both share is that you both slept against my body whole night. In our case, you were gone, and in Simba & my case, it was me who left. Both of you are the two sides of the same coin I call love.
No matter when I flip it, one of you has to show up and then my memories would be dragged from my mind to my eyes, they’ll water. I wish I could express how grateful I’ve been to both of you, you both gave me the right kind of love at a very right time. I know that maybe I’ll never be able to see you again as you were, but I can hope that you’d come to meet Simba someday. Cats are multi-dimensional creatures I’ve heard and so are you. Now that I’m not there, I’d want you to be around Simba, make your acquaintance and don’t fight.
I’ll go back to Simba as soon as I could. I’m sorry that you’re not here and that’s partially my fault. I’m not with Simba, that too is my fault. None of you had a choice, it was always me. But I’ll take care of Simba, you’ll see. I won’t let you down this time. I won’t let him down.
How I can say that I love you when you’re a side of it to me. Give me a sign that you’re hearing me, I’ll wave.